So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
