DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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