she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
