Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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