Got a toothbrush?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
