i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
