he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
