Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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