drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
