Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize