Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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