escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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