I want to walk on stilts...naked
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
