so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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