Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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