Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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