i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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