Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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