The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
