So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
