I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
