When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
