So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
