I puked a lego.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
