her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize