I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
