I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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