And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
