you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
