Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Rumble strips road head = magical
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize