fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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