Umm I'm too high to move.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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