I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
