There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
