I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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