Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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