and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Watching her eat just hurts me
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
