turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
