Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
