Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
