Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Randomize
