why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
This baby is an asshole
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
