we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize