I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
