Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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