is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
