I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
