My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
