Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Im part way to drunk.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
