Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just high enough for therapy.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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