hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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