Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
