So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
