is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
