I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
