I cockslap morals
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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