OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Randomize
