We need to rekindle our bromance
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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