Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
